During a normal school week, students are used to a reasonable degree of structure, as are their parents, and wider family. Their energy levels and brain activity adjust to this learned pattern. Once the structure is disrupted, for example on holidays or on a lockdown, the body and brain takes time to adjust.
Under 'normal' circumstances for example, around this time of year in Yr11 (exam time), anxiety levels and stress hormone levels are relatively high. If the thing/situation that is causing the stress is suddenly removed or decreased, the body struggles to cope initially.
Why does the body struggle with less stress?!
Stress can reduce the effectiveness of the immune system, but when we're caught in the day-to-day hamster-wheel of life, we don’t have time to slow down and listen to our body and the actual effect that stress is having on us, which is to decrease our ability to fight disease and infection. We only perceive the 'stress effect', which is increased adrenalin and cortisol, resulting in us being pumped up with heightened 'energy' so that we can keep fighting, and keep going through the tough stuff.
But What we actually need to do is the opposite.
We actually need to slow down, let the 'stress effect' dissipate, rest our adrenal glands (which produce all that adrenalin) and take care of ourselves, with rest and good nutrition.
Once the stress stops, the immune system takes time to adjust, and a number of people in the first week of taking a break from our usual stress heavy life, will get colds and aches and pains. It’s worth remembering this once you get back to work/school! Keep taking time out to slow down and rest.
Negative and difficult situations such as loss, anger, frustration create stress, distracts you, stops you thinking, isolates you. It creates a negative outlook. Things can appear to be unfair, we easily blame or project when we're feeling 'down's, and it can appear that the hardship we feel is everyone else’s fault.
The change in the current weekly and daily structure can stop a person looking at what they have and what they can achieve, and instead make them focus on what they’ve lost or now feel they have no control over.
For example, exam results are now dependent on previous performance and the image of the student they created over their school career. There is nothing they can do to change it.
For workers being furloughed, losing jobs, being taken off projects is dependent on what value we have added in the past or our reputation. Again, there isn’t much we can do about that now. Some decisions that effect our life on a massive scale have been taken out of our hands.
From my perspective, these issues are resolved by allowing yourself to accept the current position, look at what you would have changed if you had the chance, and make sure you incorporate those changes into the way you work, study, integrate in the future.
I believe I’m a pretty good counsellor, I learn from my mistakes, and change my approach in light of this learning. I make sure I’m connected to the world around me, using the big picture exercise in my blog about anxiety. I have a 2 day rule to help me with this. I learned it after I had a huge row with my then 15 year old daughter. She is very stubborn sometimes ( as a single parent I can’t think where she got that from! ) We sat down a couple of hours after and sorted it out, but afterwards I kept trying to figure out how it came about. I didn't understand, how could this have happened, I was a counsellor, I know how not to have rows!!
I eventually went on a visit to my counselling mentor. He asked me how long I’d been thinking about it..
“10 days” I replied.
He said “ has it ever occurred to you that there might not be a reason?”
“Ermmm no!”
Somewhat stroppily I asked him what he did! He said he had a 2 day rule, and what he’d found was that if he didn’t have an answer by then he just let it go, and focussed on life and work again.
He also found that his brain sometimes carried on looking by itself and he got those blinding flash of light moments, (mine come largely whilst I’m driving). The answer arrives when we're just getting on with life. My mentor said that if the answer didn’t come then at least he hadn’t wasted days beating himself up about it, and could focus on the positive aspect of his life instead.
If you want to try a weird but wonderful exercise in finding creative ways to answer questions about life... Watch the video available later today, which Charlotte has made about Nature Connection. It'll be here in the Video section of the hub and is also available now on instagram @niuconsultancy IGTV channel.
I find the most helpful way to channel my energy away from feeling negative and in a positive direction instead, is to focus on what I can do, not what I can’t do. I focus my outlook on positive cans , not negative can'ts. I reward myself for my changes and achievements, they take time and effort so why not? That keeps my endorphin levels and positivity at a good level.
If I find myself getting frustrated, because, obviously, the world doesn’t always understand that my way is best! I find something diverting to do and usually it involves me discovering on a weekly basis that golf ball don’t do my bidding either! Sigh. But it takes my mind off the weekly grind. So diverting yourself with something you can do, or that you enjoy, or achieve, can help you calm down and focus on positivity.
So I work hard at keeping myself calm, imagining a positive outcome before I start, or play a shot, and stop trying too hard.
Being realistic about my skills and achievements, and what I can do to enhance them, even at my age, keeps me engaged and looking forward! Try these simple ideas yourself, I hope they help.
