“You must be strong now” is a phrase we’ve all heard or said before. But what does it actually mean to be strong? What is strength of character and how do we find it in times of vulnerability?
When life gets difficult and we find ourselves in a state of crisis, it seems like the first thing that abandons us is our strength. Our minds can lurk into dark corners, feeding us thoughts that evoke our greatest fears and anxieties, weakening us and draining our energy. Our ability to see a brighter future becomes clouded and before we know it, we can spiral into a state of helplessness, feeling victimized by the injustices of life.
However, it’s precisely the hardships we experience, which over time build our strength of character, making our future selves more confident and resilient. This doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it a smooth process, but it’s only by facing challenges that we truly discover who we are and what we’re capable of overcoming. Perhaps strength of character is simply this - knowing who you are and honoring that in the face of adversity. Having the courage and faith to keep walking down your path, even when everything around us seems to be blocking it. Being able to speak our truth, even when it might be met with dismay.
We live in a society that typically views weakness and vulnerability as something negative, shameful even, yet imagine a world where none of us ever experienced pain and suffering. Imagine if we never experienced heartache, illness, fear, restriction of freedom, or lack of resources. If we went through life having everything we desired, without ever having to make an effort for it, would we truly appreciate love, health, joy, liberty, and money?
If we never had to conquer any hurdles, would we truly know who we are and what we value most in life?
Upon inspecting our past, I believe most of us will find that we only blossomed in our strength and our knowledge of self after facing and overcoming difficult situations. Naturally, this is subject to the perspective we chose to have over our troubles and the faith we have in the lessons they hold. But regardless, even following a sense of defeat, we usually find that we’ve learned something about ourselves, even if it’s that we don’t know ourselves at all. And in this realization, what seems initially like a weakness could become our greatest strength, by beginning the journey to get closer acquainted with ourselves.
The present moment of illness, restrictions, limitations, uncertainty and economic instability has challenged all of us in different ways. Exposing us to vulnerabilities and fears, not only as individuals, but also collectively, as human beings. While initially many of us thought of this crisis as a temporary setback in our “normality”, in the recent weeks we’ve all had to face the reality that the world is going through a change that can’t be reverted. And while the most natural reaction is to feel depleted by this thought, it’s precisely now that we have the opportunity to build strength of character.
Some have lost their jobs and income, for example, forcing them to search for alternative ways to acquire resources to provide for themselves and their families. In some cases, they live in countries with government support, in others, they don’t. Some of these people may have experienced a lack of money before, while some might not have suffered a similar situation yet, making it even more challenging for them to navigate this ocean of instability. Some might have an emotional support system surrounding them, others might be alone. Nonetheless, all of these people will be pushed to grow through their circumstances in order to overcome them. In every case, their strength of character will be put to the test. Their creativity, resourcefulness, and emotional resilience will be tested.
Disease is another painful experience that always has and always will challenge us. The need to survive is perhaps one of the strongest motivators we know as humans and it can help strengthen us beyond what we thought possible. But what happens when it’s a loved one who falls ill? When our own survival isn’t being threatened and we witness the people we love suffer. It can be just as heart wrenching or even worse. It’s here where we might discover our weakest self, as we’re faced with a complete lack of control over someone else’s health. If the illness ends in death, this can drag us down into a vast pit of grief and hopelessness, leaving us emotionally paralyzed and unable to move forward with our lives.
However, it’s once again that this type of pain forces us to build strength of character, even when we don’t know how. By witnessing the fragility of our health and life, for example, we might learn to live our days more fully, with more love and courage in our hearts. We might learn to speak our truths, honoring who we are while we’re alive. We might even heal old wounds and mend broken relationships, turning over a new leaf of forgiveness in our story. Or perhaps we simply discover what pain truly feels like and learn to accept it as a significant part of life.
Regardless of the circumstance you might currently find yourself in, it’s important to remember that both failure and success are the greatest teachers we have in life. By keeping your mind and heart open to whatever you’re experiencing, you have the opportunity to truly get to know yourself and what you value.
You might discover that deep down, you’re a completely different person than who you thought you were. Or you might find confidence in a secure sense of self. No matter where you are on this scope, honor your process. Either way, the journey of life will inevitably develop your character and if you can find comfort in that, then your doing pretty well in my book, as-well-as setting a solid foundation for whatever uncertain future lies ahead.
